Friday, February 29, 2008

i just dun understand why must they have no thoughts for others.... and why must we human being living in this world face wit problems... and why must we have to go thru wit all this shit.. well.. the answer is lif will be too boring if there's no problem for us to think.. coz God made us humans to live in this beautiful world to think using our brain which was given by him and solve wit it.... but sometimes.. the problem that we are facing is too much..... we can't possibly let loose of it n let go... hmmm... well.. for now i'm gonna pray hard that nothing will happen to my dearie jufri... i love him so much... love him unlike the rest... i dunno why... he's someone who's kinda special to me... he treats me wit respect... its hard for me to find tat kinda man... it is hard coz.. u're not gonna easily find someone who can really know u too well.. till he can read wats in ur mind.. tats the reason y i say he's different frm others and he's one of a kind... i love him alot... if he's gone i really dunno wat i'm gonna do..i dunno diary... i dunno wat gonna happen to me...i do wanna live wit him for the rest of my life... i wanna have his kids.. i wanna be his wife and a mother to his kids... i wanna take care of him...to tell the truth diary... the feeling i have for him is totally different frm wat i had for others..this is not juz a sying.. its the truth..i just pray to ALLAH that my relationship wit him will last till my last breath and i do wanna take care of him for the rest of my life...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

RELIEVED

well.. for now i can at least feel relieved a little bit coz i've told everything to my supervisor.. hahahakkzz... i like it!!! yes!! finally i didi it!!! she think she has the right to do that.. i dun think so.. i told jansen tat i dun like her attitude.. she sucks!! she thinks she can be the boss by telling us wat to do.... ha! she's messing wit the wrong person!! for me i dun like to complain abt people.. its just that she has gone too far... my patience level is way too up... i can't stand any longer!! so thats y i told everything to my supervisor abt her!! so wat if she's doing COD.. hahakkzz i dun care as if shes the only one who has alot of wrk to do...from now on am gonna be selfish towards her and am not gonna give way to her... am not going to... trust me.. i will be a bitch for once.. i will.. she have been giving alot of us problem.. she's pain in the neck!! her attitude really makes me dislike her more... the more i see her face... the more i begin to hate her....i know i've shouldn't have done that but... i can't help it.. she's asking it.. so... i'll treat her that way.. am gonna be cold to her... hahakkzz.. so.. ok...i gtg now.. anything i'll update again.. nitezzzzzzzzzz~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, February 3, 2008

hey diary... its another i guess.... am feeling down again today.. its all coz of my ex... he just wanna force me into it again... sigh.. i dun understand why some people just like to force others... for now wat i wanna concentrate is tat i wanna do my very best in my work and make my parents happy... tats all i wanna do... and of coz not forgetting to cherish my own self and my bf jufri... he is such a romantic person.. caring... i love him so much...i find him very loveable kinda person..wat attracted me to him is that he knows how to tell things frm my face.. he knows if am feeling down or sick...he's like someone special,.. tat is brought down to me frm god above... just like an angel.. hahhaakkzz...even though we just met i can feel like we've known each other for such a very long time....am talking for real this time... i know for all this while i'm like wow... he's the one he's the greates.. but for now... am talking it for real...whenever i look up at his face.. am wondering... if we ever met before.. he really looks familiar..hmmm...up till now.. am still wondering... who is he actually.. he looks very very very familiar..hmmm...but whenever i meet him... am happy.. he makes me smile.. he always make my day cheerful...i like... tats why i do love him so much.... hmm... for now my relationship i leave it to the Almighty...if he's really the one for me... Amin.. i will be happy and feels great....for now am gonna concentrate on jufri , work and my family... i want to make them happy as long as i'm still here.. :)

Friday, February 1, 2008

problem after another.......

well.. diary... i dunno if i can stay here in my company longer... coz.. i was backstabbed by someone who is really sweet talk infront of u but then behind u she'll poke a dagger..hmmm... she thought that she is the supervisor who can really tell us wat a dissapointment we have made to make her finish up all the shits tats been left behind...who is she to tell us wat to do... yes i know she's our senior but she is not capable of doing tat kind of instruction...coz she doesn't have any post...so wat if the supervisor adore her... i dun give a damn...she's boasting abt her workload.. yucks!! tats sucks man!! telling us she has to do alot of paperwork.. sigh.. i dun really understand this kind of people... well.. for now me and kak shaz have to wait for kak su's return frm medical leave coz jansen wants to talk to her abt us... hmmmm... i'm wondering wat is it regarding abt...but am for sure its gonna be abt our work... and i know that boastful have been talking abt us to him... i just dunno why she's not happy wit us...hmmm....
k diary i gotta go now coz am getting sleepy... gd nite..

sigh

why can't they understands my feelings? i got engaged just for the sake of getting it only.. i've no feelings for him ever since he shouted at me in public and yes i've been very patience since that day... its not coz of jufri i broke the engagement... its coz i've no interest in him as he himself dun give moral support enuff.... i find tat he's that type of person who likes not to learn new things.. try out new things... shall i say.. he is bodoh sombong... well... i need someone who can really support me frm my bck and knows everything... not only myself.. i want the man whos gonna be with me for the rest of my life.. to know every single thing.. just like my papa... i dun wanna leave wit someone who doesn't know a single thing... i want someone like papa.... tat is y... pertunangan is just not ikatan kawin... its also let both parties know each other well... for me... i've had enuff of his nonsense abt not knowing anything and i've really had enuff...to me am ready to take all the consequences and i know.. people are going to talk behind my back.. i dun care... let them talk all they want... i am really sick and tired of all this matter...yes he did sms me if i still love him... i told him no.. i've no more feelings for him and i will not turn my words... i will not turn my words... yes mama told me that he's gone half way crazy coz i broke wit him... yes i pity him but whos gonna pity me?? all this while i've been keeping silence.. coz i dun wanna let them know wat am feeling...like i said... its not that i broke off wit him coz of someone else..... he's not fit into my criteria... he's not like my papa... i want someone like my papa.. who can fix all things... well as for jufri even though i've known him quite new... it's as though i've known him for long time...he looks so familiar... well.. he is someone like papa... i admit it.. tat i like him... dun get me wrong... its not coz of him tat am not together wit my ex...since before i met jufri i dun have feelings for him...