emotional

feeling down lately.. especially this whole mth of may...not a good mth for me i think... been crying alot... sick.... been having bad emotional....relationship wise... yes am facing difficulties.... i was about to being left alone by my partner... coz he says that i am too hot tempered... so many chances i had been given but still the same.... i dunno... did try my very best to change but still can't be recognized... well too bad.....well as a matter of fact i was called clumsy all the time and he will spit out saying he regret going out with me and getting to know me.... and he regret getting engaged to me and stuffs.... well i was heartbroken when he says that.... didn't expect something like that to come out from him..... i was very shocked... i admit that its my fault for not taking those chances seriously... now when i'm always on my own i would sit down and think bck my mistakes and all of those words that he said to me...i do feel angry but most of the time i would feel lost and unwanted... now...sometimes i feel that the love we used to have is going to perish sooner... i dunno... not like how we're used to be..... i feel like as if i'm a stranger to him all of a sudden... this feeling happens after we had a big quarrel last week..... i do feel very lost and unwanted right now.... i have no one to talk to.... i dunno... i feel so strange....very scary feeling i can say.... can just feel that something going to happen.....i dunno... haizzz

dead tired...

hey.. its been such a long time since i've not update abt my doings in here,,, i've been busy for the past few weeks due to work.. i;ve just started working at the airport last mth.... i have to attend for 3 mths course and to tak a test for me to be able to get a confirmation in the company.... so i have been attending the course for abt a month and its an office hour course.. it is very tiring for me as i have to start classes at 8.30am and i have to wake up at 6AM OR sometimes 5.30am... sigh!!! very tiring.... now both my eyes are very swollen and besides i dun realy rest well enuff or sleep well.... and i am abit stress due to the test... coz i have to pass in order for me to stay in the company which i've said earlier..in all i have to learn 2 airlines system.... wel.... i think i gtg now coz i am feeling very sleepy and i think i wanna spend my weekeneds wisely as i am very very tired and i need to rest more... coz after nxt weekend i won;t be having a good weekend rest as i have to start working on graveyard shift... sigh!!! well what to do i was not born as a silver spoon child and i'm not getting married to a rich man.... but main thing is i love him and he loves me.... and we understand each other character.... so... well i gtg now.. so am signing off frm here... good nite.... bye bye